I don't want to be cool!

At the moment the hospital just seems the place to be, not that anyone likes it, it is just something that happens unfortunately.
So as planned I got away and headed to the twilight CORC 3 hour, and test my legs and see how my first race back would go, no expectations just go out and enjoy. The course was a straight up the usual switchbacks and down the fun skyline, luge, and back, a load of climbing but some fun. 1st lap was fun, but hard I knew I dug a little too deep but Grantley made me ;), 2nd lap hurt a little more, 3rd lap a struggle, 4th lap felt like I was piloting a horse and all I did was pedal, 5th lap came good and made up some positions, 6th did not happen I did not want to be cool.
The 4th lap (and allot of the race), I just felt like I was missing something, and most of it I just wanted to stay on the bike. I nearly pulled the pin after that lap as I lost control of what was happening with the bike, glad I didn't as the 5th went OK. I could not help but think about what would happen on the 6th lap if I went out again, as I come in with 5 min to 3 hours. I just did not want to follow the cool people to hospital. I could feel myself just not care, I was flying down the skyline, luge, just over anything and everything, fast but not good. I think I just wanted it done, but it was not right.
After the sausage sandwich dinner and a chat with the boys, I headed off to the car to hear Kev...Kev. It was Anne she was in some pain with what looked like a broken wrist about to jump into the cool car, to head to the cool place with all the cool drugs, and cool people. I feel like the lucky one. I really hope Anne has a speeding recovery, and just remember 24's can come and go, but your health is the most important thing.
So I think the week caught up with me, but this ride was my longest in a while and it was a race. Maybe not the wisest move but I did have some fun. It was great to be pushing the efforts just that little bit higher into the box, and after all the racing earlier in the year it was fantastic to be back there. I know we all go though the odd bad lap, but most of the time we can pull it off and come out the other side smiling, and that is allot of what racing (and training) is about, pushing the limits, and knowing the limit.
So bring on the next race ;).